I thought I had it all….

One of the things I noticed when I first began my practice was how many successful people were not really happy. 

j0356624Often they would say to me, “I have the house, the cars, the kids, and everything that goes with it, aren’t I supposed to be happy now?” Some had even gotten bigger houses and newer cars and a few more kids, but still they felt something was missing.


After hearing this over and over again, it occurred to me that in their quest to ‘Have it all’, they didn’t really have a clue what that meant.  The only picture they had was the ‘house, cars, kids, stuff'” and so that is what they pursued.  In time, my work really boiled down to this–helping people reshape the story of “Having it All”.

Having it all isn’t about the ‘external’ stuff.  It’s about the ‘internal’.  It’s about knowing your SELF and designing a life that reflects a big picture of wholeness.  Yes, it will likely still include a house (or apartment), cars (or mass transit options), kids (or not), and stuff (a big fan of a bed to sleep on and dishes to eat off!) but they are not the ‘all’ of who you are.

 The All of who you are is much more about having healthy boundaries and a SELF that takes responsibility for creating a life you truly want.  This means learning how to manage your own emotions, making choices based on exploring information vs. taking just what is obvious. It means learning how to have a positive, internal communication that enables you to be your own best cheerleader in creating the life you want.  It means that in relationships and in building a family, you and others are co-supporting each other as you design a life that’s good for your family.

Work is not just about financial/wealth accumulation but first and foremost about sharing your talents and adding to the world. As that produces financial wealth–having it all means conscious acquiring of the essentials without an external pressure to get more and more under the delusion that this is ‘having it all’.  Instead, other important areas like connecting to the community and protecting the environment.  It’s cultivating the capacity to deal with all of life’s challenges no matter how devastating with the realization that if this is part of the ‘All’ of your life, it can be accommodated.  It is taking the time to tune into your spirituality, eating healthy food and exercising consistently as a necessity for being alive to recognize the dynamic ‘All’ you’ve created.  Ultimately, “Having it All means creating a Whole SELF with the courage to create your own “all” that is right for you!

There is a change going on for those in their 20s and 30s. Many watched their parents in the old story of ‘having it all’, but it has also prompted this next generation to seriously reconsider the old story and begin rewriting to create the new.  And here at Triangle Whole, Well and Good, we’re all about helping you do that too!