Not done @ 21!!!

As another school year begins…….

High school graduates are soon heading off to college and college graduates have entered the real world.  Both of these transitions represent two of the most intense times of our lives.  We are leaving a comfort zone of friends, family and the known while heading into the unknown.  We may be excited as can be about it all–but nonetheless, it is a very unsettling time requiring tremendous learning, new choices, establishing new patterns and social contacts.

Did you know that 40% of freshman drop out of college? (and never go back!) Did you know that depression rates skyrocket after college graduation.  What’s going on here?

As a counselor I have worked extensively with the 18-24 age bracket.  It is very important to show them that they are still working to form their SELF.  Boundaries are not fully developed and the SELF is unsure of so many pieces of their Life Puzzle.  In this overwhelming state, with lots of choices to be made, many in this age bracket shut down and feel defeated. I love working with them and showing them how to turn defeat into an adventure of living instead.

NOT DONE @ 21 !!!!

One of the chief complaints I heard from so many of these young adults was their belief/feeling that they were “behind”.  That somehow by 21 they needed to have figured it all out and that was not happening!  As I mulled on this more and more, I felt compelled to make this issue more visible and talked about. With several clients, I had “dialogues” about this issue.  I turned those dialogues into a short booklet I’ve put together called “Not done @ 21—building wholeness in a 100 year life”. Continue reading

Spiritual edge: challenging the hierarchy of place on the path to Wholeness

As we form a SELF by building the 5 edges–physical, emotional, thinking, sexual and spiritual–we set the foundation for owning our lives and creating Wholeness.  The Spiritual edge is the last piece in the formation of a true and loving SELF.  We say it is complete when you can operate your life from this perception: “I am greater than no one, no one is greater than me.  In everyone shines love and as I see love in me, I can see love in thee.”

When I share this criteria for completing the Spiritual edge–most folks shake their head and say “I live the exact opposite!  I think some or most people are better than me and occasionally I”m better than another.”  And I acknowledge–this is how most everyone runs their life–and exactly what we’re challenging by bringing forth wholeness and breaking out of the reactive/status quo.

And it needs to be challenged because it is harming us all.  Recently I heard Jim Grimsley, author of “How I shed my skin” describe the Southern hierarchy of place.  I was blown away as he so succinctly described how we all learn to know our place and accept as natural that some should be deemed “greater than or less than”.  Here’s what he wrote–
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